I've always thought I was a good person.

I've always thought I was nice.
I've always thought I was considerate.
I've always thought I was generous.
I've always thought I was brave.
I've always thought I was smart.


But the girl who I look at in the mirror, isn't the one who determines my actions, my character, my choices. The girl beneath the skin is the one who has the control.

I'm not nice.
I'm not considerate.
I'm not generous.
I'm not brave.
I'm not smart.


I'm not nice because I usually get angry when I don't get my way, like a little kid.
I'm not considerate because I put myself first; not family, not friends, not even God.
I'm not generous because I only give people stuff after they've given up and I feel guilty.
I'm not brave because I don't even have the courage to stand up for a friend when someone's talking dirt about them.
I'm not smart because I don't use my common sense, because I always have to have confirmation of what's right, I have no mind of my own.


I hate myself for even thinking I'm somewhat pretty.
I'm so vain, so self-centered, so easily frustrated and impatient.
I lash out at anyone who I don't care if they hate me.
I take the road the crowd with guns marches down, inflicting judgement upon those I don't know.

I wanna be a better person, my friends and family deserve it after experiencing the bitch I can be.


But can I change?